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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?